The True Meaning of FriendsGiving
The holidays always seem to bring on a new emotional state each year. The days are shorter and naturally there is less daylight. For some reason, the dark always makes me think about my own existence. In the morning before the sun rises, I contemplate what I can do to make this day better than the last. At night before I close my eyes, I think about how much more horrible I can be tomorrow. Kidding.
On Friday November 20th, I woke up looking forward to something I’d never had the privilege of experiencing, my very first Friendsgiving. Before you pass this off as another story about how this generation loves to flaunt its love of irrelevant gatherings based on hashtags and selfies, I say read just a bit more.
I decided to get to the gathering early and help the girls who were throwing the party. I popped my dish in the oven just before the main hostess got home. I watched as she started to set up this grand occasion for her large group of friends. From the list of items to bring and make to the DIY photo backdrop with accompanying props, I can’t imagine that most of the guests even appreciated the effort she put into the night. I checked on my food then took a seat on the couch and waited for guests to arrive. Everyone was on BP Time. The hostess and I chatted a bit about random stuff as she finished last minute decorations. I told her about my plan to be as social as possible, because sometimes I can come off as harsh and sarcastic in first impressions. She is not one to bite her tongue, so she told me that I’m friendly but not FRIENDLY. I got the message she was trying to convey. I have never felt the need to be overtly friendly to every person I meet. Usually, I can tell whether we’ll mesh well within minutes of meeting a person. I decided to put my skills to the test throughout the night and profile each guest. I drank a few glasses of wine, changed my shirt for no apparent reason, and headed into the lion’s den.
Guests started to trickle in starting around 8:30 then all of a sudden we had a packed house. I descended down the steps and scanned the room. I avoided my first round of awkward introductions by scurrying to the kitchen. First Mistake.
At the stove stood a girl making what I can only describe as a poor man’s version of macaroni. I walked over and inquired about what she was trying to do with a pot full of straight milk and cheese. I figured she was attempting to make a cheese sauce from an educated guess of a recipe. By then I’d had my 4th full glass of wine, so the question probably came off as rude at best. However, I think that at this age if you don’t know how to cook or aren’t willing to follow a recipe then you should just buy it pre-made. She seemed annoyed by my presence so I moved on. The girl standing next to her wasn’t doing any better with a mad scientist’s type of concoction she called candied yams. Sorry not sorry. I’m no chef but I thought it best I leave the kitchen before I said something really hurtful.
I walked into the dining room and watched people take pictures. I began to realize the dinner was going to flesh out all the usual stereotypical people. The hostess talked on the phone with the girl who said she would come, but at the last minute cancels for some absurd reason when we all know she is just at home watching Netflix and too lazy to wash up to come out. There was the guy who no one knows but seems to talk to everyone like he met us all at a prior engagement. There is the girl that came because her friend came even though they both have the same group of friends. There is the couple tied at the hip making it impossible for one to shit without the other willing to wipe. There is the alternative couple who subtly lets everyone know that their parents and friends don’t approve of their relationship, but they are totally in love.
For some reason there is always that one girl who is totally put together, her face has this soft approachable look, then she opens her mouth you are immediately in love. That girl is the very same girl part of the alternative relationship that you hope doesn’t last long. Then again I’m a sucker for true love. Parejas alternativas Vivan!
All of those people were nice to meet, but let’s talk about the people we all love to meet. First don’t we all enjoy a good set of sibling brothers. In this case they weren’t really kin, but I think every gathering needs siblings. Real and or Fake ones. It is like having the best of both worlds. The older brother strolled into the house just like he lived there which is usually the case since he is friends with the hostess. His particular brand of comedy may come off as forced to people who first meet him, but I know all too well that his funny is as natural as the air we breath. I delighted in watching and listening to him make fun of people, places, and things around the house with no end in sight.
Then there is the girl who knowingly wears the one outfit that makes everyone stare more than we should. She makes sure it is just short enough, just tight enough, and just modest enough. You give her a backhanded compliment to let her know she looks hot, but also that your mother with the conservative values wouldn’t approve. No worries mom she isn’t the one.
Almost 10PM and the food still isn’t ready. I definitely want to make a plate and sneak off to the basement to eat it like a rat coveting cheese. I threw back my 7th glass of wine and headed back into the living room to introduce myself to a table of girls. This is probably where my memory starts to get a little hazy.
My Day 1 (person who has been with you since day 1, get it) motioned to me so we could slip outside where our former classmate was waiting for a secret rendezvous. He drove up from out of town and after an hour of waiting for the food he went to get tacos. The three of us huddled around the trunk of a stranger’s car eating and laughing about the night thus far. We were just about to head back in when the younger sibling brother pulled up in front of the house holding a pan of mac and cheese.
Side Note: At the time of writing this I didn’t know his real story, but we must go on with my original account. Where was I…...
I did a double take because their personalities are so similar yet different in every way. I think his brother’s big personality would be a bit intimidating. Unlike his big bro who must feel comfortable in many situations, baby boy decided to find his place close by but still very much following his brother’s lead. Both of them are cute in their own way, but let us be honest if we were going to bang one we’d pick the younger one. All of the fun without the overconfidence. If you haven’t noticed by now, I get so much joy out of observing people in social situations. Moving on….
Finally it was time to eat. The hostess let out a yell and called us all into the kitchen to pray before the food. I watched as 20 plus people tried to pile into this medium sized kitchen. It was actually really nice to be a part of something like that.
I haven’t been home for the holidays in a long time. I don’t really miss the place, but I do miss the family gatherings that come with it. Then again I don’t miss that much either. What I really miss is the food.
Okay enough sentimental stuff, back to the night.
Now that my belly was full it was time for more people watching. However, I had just downed my 10th glass of wine, so instead of observing I interacted. Isn’t that really what a dinner party is all about. So, I decided to flirt with everyone. Maybe they didn’t know that is what I was doing, but I know Glass 10 Danny is a huge flirt. I tend to do a lot of laughing at dumb jokes and insulting people. I chatted up the guy that nobody knew and put my arm around a girl here or there. Then something quite magical happened. Into the house walked a guy of true African blood, or so he wanted us to believe, wearing a leather jacket, skin tight leopard themed t-shirt, and a mean mug all over his face. It was almost like a scene in a old cowboy movie where a stranger walks into the saloon and people stop mid-drink, mid-beer pong, mid-laugh, and wondered who had just arrived to town. Someone call the sheriff because this dude had a foul attitude to go along with his foul attire. I watched as he tried to partake in the night’s activities with no success. He eventually left and all was well again in the kingdom.
As the night went on people came and went including the hostess. At some point she had retired to her bedroom for some much needed rest while the party was still in full swing. You have got to love a woman who can sleep through a house full of rowdy party goers. I noticed that some of her other friends were enjoying themselves quite a lot in her absence. I decided to dub three of her guy friends the Haircut Trio. THT for short. Same style, same haircut, same personalities. Don’t get me wrong, I actually think they’re all pretty okay guys, but I wonder what lies beneath the surface. I try not to concoct too many scenarios inside my head when observing and analyzing people, but I’d probably sleep with all three of them (not at the same time) if only to see who has the biggest ego. Too bad they’re all straight my best friend would say and to that I’d reply so am I fifty percent of the time. So, I cheered on the one who reminded me of Ben McKenzie, circa 2003 The O. C, and went back to my glass of wine.
3AM rolled around and it was time to end this night of fun. The last group of guys helped the lone hostess’s roommate tidy up a bit before grabbing desserts and leaving. I hitched a ride with my former classmate to my house three blocks away. I should have walked but with the amount of wine in my body and my passion for lying on sidewalks when drunk (don’t ask…), I figured a short car ride was best.
Now, I was home and happy. I had stepped out of my comfort zone, mingled, drank a lot, and flirted with multiple people even if they didn’t know it. I had a pretty swell night to say the least. I don’t think I’ll ever be big on holidays in general, but I do love a good gathering of friends and family. Who would have thought that moving across the country with no money or a place to stay……..Ha! You thought I was about to end on some grand moral about how I’m a better person and how much I love my friends. No! I am certainly a lot more real than that kids. As I closed my eyes to sleep off all that food and alcohol, my final thought was………..
Thank god someone came up with this idea, so I wouldn’t have to spend time with my real family. FriendsGiving really is a blessing in disguise. Until next year friends.
