Down The Rabbit Hole We Go

Can you remember the day your whole life changed? No. Neither can I. Although, I'm sure if you thought hard enough you could recall a moment, or several, that stand out in the crowd. I remember these moments vividly along with the people that played a part in their conception. I base everything in my life on the feelings within these moments. About six months ago, I decided to change my entire life based on a feeling in the moment. What was that decision? The decision is not as important as the why it was made. For the better part of eight years, I have been attempting to write and finish a novel. This novel is based more than loosely on my own life. The problem with using yourself as the source material is that you uncover secrets about your own darkness. I have no issue with concluding that I am not a good person. Good people are willing to sugarcoat the truth for the sake of others. Good people seek to discover the good in others. However, I believe that everyone is capable of the unexpected.

I hope that at this point several people have closed this tab and forgotten about these words. Everyone is not prepared for the life I am beginning to recount. As a matter of fact, run! I have no intention of giving the world another story about how life should be written down. This is the unabridged version of a life that most will find funny, inspiring, crazy, and a whole lot of foolishness in between. For a long time, I wasn't able to write anything. This next part may come as a bit of a shock to my friends. I haven't wrote a single word for my novel in the last five years. I have looked at the part at which I stopped countless times, but no additions. These words I am currently typing are the farthest I've gotten with my writing since that day. I became consumed with another book. Unfortunately, that book is still being written as well. If I have to point out which book, then maybe this isn't the right place for you.

Great! Now that I have scared off the stragglers, it is time for the only apology I will ever give for what I write. Here goes.

“I am sorry that life is worth living.”

So, what is the goal behind your writings Danny?

That is a very good question.

The answer please, and try to wrap things up in the next paragraph. You know our generation hates to read.

Is that so, well I will try to be as short as possible.

No, by all means take your time. It is after all your first post. A beginning to an epic journey of sorts.

Yes, the answer!

I am simply searching for something gone missing. I don't know when I lost it, nor what it feels like to have it. In my mind, I see a grand library full of books and documents as far as the eye can see. There in the far back behind rows and rows of fully stocked shelves is an empty space. This space intrigues me, because I wonder did I remove this particular book in the past. Maybe I misplaced it. Maybe it was borrowed by someone else. Then again maybe this space is reserved for this life, this moment that I am in the process of writing. Maybe it is not for me to ever lay eyes upon, but for someone else to begin their own collection of memories, feelings, and moments. So, this is the start. As a reader you have only one choice, take this adventure with me and enjoy every up and down, every tear, every laugh, every revelation, and every walk of shame. This is a one way trip with no stops and little time to catch your breath. Get ready, just like Alice, down the rabbit hole we go.